The Story of How I Fell in Love During My Year Off

In August of 2016, my girlfriend, Alanna, and I were backpacking the Teton Crest Trail in Grand Teton National Park.

We had been dating for 7 months by then, and she had flown out to meet me and spend two weeks with me exploring the state of Wyoming. I was five months into my year-long sabbatical from work, which had started in April of 2016.

The Teton Crest Trail is a 40 mile trip through the backcountry wilderness of the Grand Tetons. It was Alanna’s first big backpacking trip, and it was our first time traveling together. I was a bit nervous about the trip, but I knew that if we could make it through OK, then maybe our relationship would stand the test of time.

On day 2 of the hike, we crossed over Hurricane Pass and were blown away by the views. We made our way down the trail into Cascade Canyon and started looking for a place to set up camp. The feelings of complete freedom were running wild. It was an amazing experience and an incredible place to see.

As we veered off the trail looking for a spot to set up our tent, we heard a rustling sound above us. We looked up and saw a black bear in a white bark pine eating the pine nuts. He paid us no attention so we continued on and found a perfect campsite overlooking the valley. It was an incredible night of camping together among the trees and the bears and the mountains.

It was during those adventurous moments on the Teton Crest Trail when I realized I wanted to marry Alanna.

I knew I loved her by that point in our relationship. We had only been dating for 7 months, and I had been gone traveling for 5 of those months. But I knew our relationship was special. We were having an amazing time together hiking that trail, helping each other out, and working through the problems that arise on a 40 mile hike through the mountains.

We were completely in the moment and I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Rewind the clock to 2014 when long-term travel had crept into my mind.

I had heard about other people taking extended time off work to travel, and I realized it was something I really wanted to do. I thought about it every day for a year and read several books about long-term travel. So I made it a personal goal of mine to actually do it.

Dreaming about a Year Off was the easy part. Getting up the courage to actually do it was another thing.

It took many months of thinking and dreaming but finally in November of 2015, I decided I was actually going to take a Year Off.

I quickly signed up to climb Mt. Whitney, the highest peak in the lower 48 states, as part of a fundraiser for a charity I support. The climb was to take place in April of 2016, so I made April 1st my goal date to begin my year-long career break.

I jumped right into the fundraising part of the climb. And I quickly began to look at my finances and come up with a plan for my Year Off. There were a lot of things to figure out, like a leave of absence from my job, travel insurance, vaccines, and what to do with all my possessions. My mind was in full Year Off planning mode, so the thought of finding a new girlfriend was not even a blip on my radar.

Little did I know, my future wife would come walking into my life a short time after….

It was December 12th, 2015, and my two buddies, Tony and Kevin, and I were having drinks at a bar called the Drinkery in the historic part of Cincinnati called Over-The-Rhine.

I noticed a girl standing there watching the band play, and with my liquid courage running high, I walked up to her and introduced myself. She told me her name was Alanna.

We talked all night, and we introduced each other to our friends. And it didn’t take long for us to discover that we had a lot in common. We exchanged phone numbers at the end of the night. Then about a week later, we had our first date. About a month later, on my birthday in January, we officially decided to become a couple.

I told Alanna about my plans of traveling for a year after our second or third date.

I knew I really liked her a lot at this point, so I wanted to be as up front and transparent with her as possible. My career break would start in April, I told her, and I would be gone most of the time, but I would be back home every few months to visit. And I told her how much I liked her and that I really wanted to continue the relationship while I was gone.

She was apprehensive at first, and she expressed that to me. But after I explained my reasons for wanting to do it, she quickly realized how important my Year Off was to me. It was something I had to follow through on, or I would regret it for the rest of my life. She unselfishly recognized that.

And she quickly became one of my biggest supporters. She helped me with my fundraising for the charity climb, and we dreamed up plans for her to come visit me while I was gone. We were inseparable for the few months before I began my leave of absence and hit the road in April.

The first time I said good-bye to Alanna was the easiest. The good-byes grew harder and harder each time I left home afterwards.

I was excited about the year that lay ahead of me, but I was also nervous about it and nervous about what would happen to our relationship. Alanna gave me a big hug that morning and told me to be careful and to check in often.

Before we said our last goodbye, she handed me three sealed envelopes to open at various times throughout my first 2 months on the road in the western United States. They all contained letters hand-written by her.

The first letter, dated April 6th, was to be opened after we said our last goodbye. I gave her one last big hug and watched her get in her car and drive away. Then I opened the first letter and read it:

Hey Sweets, I just want you to know how excited and happy I am for you. You’ve now begun your greatest adventure to date! Hope you have a blast! Make sure to take it all in and relish every moment. Miss you and can’t wait to see all the pics. ♥Alanna

I knew right then and there that I had a keeper in Alanna. Her support and encouragement were overwhelming, and it helped me push through the self-doubt.

The time went fast during my first 2 months traveling out west. My buddy Tony met me in Colorado for a week at the end of May and before I knew it, I was back home in Cincinnati in June and Alanna was running towards me to give me a big hug.

We were inseparable during the few weeks I was home. We would go out to eat together and we went to several local sporting events. Just hanging out and watching a movie was our favorite evening activity. We had a blast together.

We made plans for her to come visit me in August in Wyoming as well. It was something I was looking forward to from the start.

At the end of June, I packed up my car again to head west for the second time. Alanna was once again there to say goodbye to me. This goodbye was much harder than the first one. But it was also the first time we told each other “I love you”. I had known it for a while, but it felt so good and so natural to finally be able to say that to her.

The next couple of months that I spent out west were two of the best months of my life.

I spent a couple of weeks in Colorado, one of them with my friend Sam. And then I headed west to California to hike the John Muir Trail. Once again, Alanna had given me some letters to open at various times through-out the two-week, 220 mile hike through the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Three of the letters I was to open at various times throughout the hike: “When you’re feeling strong“, “When you’re in physical/mental pain“, and “For anytime you feel like reading another one of my letters“. But the first letter she instructed me to open before I began the hike. It read:

Dear Nick, I just want to start off by saying that I am so happy you have been able to take this time in your life to not only do what you love, but to become strengthened and challenged in a way that you perhaps have never been strengthened and challenged. We all need that time to recollect, meditate on, and dissect our lives and the things around us – actually taking the time to appreciate our surroundings….. My only hope is to encourage and strengthen you even more. As your friend and girlfriend, I want the best for you. Always….. I hope your surroundings will inspire, enlighten, and encourage you to be the best person God has created you to be. And I can’t wait to see you and give you a big bear hug. I love you so much! Alanna

My time on the John Muir Trail were two of the best weeks of my life. And it wasn’t just because of the sense of adventure or the incredible scenery or the feeling of accomplishment after. It was because I had those letters from Alanna and her unwavering support of my dreams and goals. I loved her more than ever during those two weeks in the mountains.

After a few more weeks on my own in the Pacific Northwest, I headed east to meet Alanna in Wyoming.

I’ll never forget the drive to the airport and the feeling of excitement to see her again. I picked her up from the airport in Jackson Hole, and we were right back to where we had left off in June, talking and laughing and hanging out together like we had never been apart.

We spent the first few nights camping next to Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park, then headed out to hike the Teton Crest Trail for 4 days. The weather was perfect, the views were amazing, and it was just Alanna and I exploring that amazing wilderness.

It was Alanna’s first-ever backpacking trip, and I had a blast teaching her about it and watching her catch on like a pro. She was completely removing herself from her comfort zone, trying something new, and having a blast doing it. It was an awesome thing to see. And it made me realize that if she could handle this trip, then she could handle just about anything in life.

And it was at that campsite in Cascade Canyon when I realized how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

After the Teton Crest Trail, Alanna and I spent a week in Yellowstone National Park.

We explored all the geysers and hot springs and valleys and canyons. We backpacked past herds of buffalo in Lamar Valley and spent an incredible night in the Yellowstone wilderness camped next to the Lamar River. Then we began the 3 day drive home to Cincinnati. Those two weeks with her will forever be etched in my memory as two of the best weeks of my life.

After a couple of weeks at home, I said goodbye to Alanna for the third time and jumped on a plane to Europe.

I spent the first week there with my sister Lauren, then spent two months traveling by train and bus to 12 different countries. It was incredible experiencing all the sights and sounds of so many cultures.

Alanna and I’s form of communication changed from letters and postcards to emails, but the messages remained the same. In one email, Alanna said:

I miss you so incredibly much, but I know this is what you want to do and I’m so proud of and happy for you! Not that I think you’d be an old grumpy man 40 years from now if you didn’t do this, but I’m sure you would regret not having done this….I love you SO MUCH and can’t wait to do some more traveling with you! Love, Alanna

While in another, just before I was due to fly back home, she said:

I can honestly say that I’ve never been so excited to make chocolate chip cookies…. Naturally, I’m okay with making them if I get to eat them, but it’s just a bad temptation for me to keep eating them. Now, I love making them because I know you like them!….Love you to the moon and back, Alanna

After spending the holidays at home with Alanna and my family and friends, I flew to Africa for the last leg of my Year Off.

I spent 6 weeks in Uganda, volunteering at a local health clinic and spending my weekends on safari, white water rafting on the Nile River, and tracking the mountain gorillas. Then I flew to Tanzania and climbed Kilimanjaro and went on safari to the Serengeti. And finally, I once again met Alanna for a great adventure in Kenya.

We spent two weeks in that incredible country, volunteering at a local school, visiting the main attractions of Nairobi, and going on safari together to the Maasai Mara Reserve. The memories we made together in Africa will never be forgotten.

I began looking for an engagement ring shortly after returning to work at the end of March, 2017.

My great big Year Off adventure was over, but I had a new big adventure to start dreaming about and planning. Marrying Alanna.

I found the ring in May and in July, we flew out to Colorado where I proposed to her on top of Buckskin Pass on the Four Pass Loop trail near Aspen. I had never been so sure of anything in my life.

She said yes, and exactly 7 months later on February 10th, 2018, we were married by Father Ruffino, a Ugandan priest, in front of all our friends and family. We honeymooned in New Zealand and Fiji, and moved into our condo together.

Married life is amazing with Alanna. We definitely have our bumps in the road. No marriage is perfect, but we have an overwhelming sense of trust and teamwork and support. I know she has my back in every situation. She proved that to me when I was away on my year-long travel adventure.

If you forced me to come up with one main thing I learned from Alanna during my Year Off, it’s that one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse or significant other is your unconditional support of their biggest dreams and aspirations.

It’s what made me realize how much she loved me and cared for me and my happiness. And it’s what made my love for her grow so quickly and profoundly.

I can’t thank my wife enough for the support she gave me throughout my Year Off and the support she continues to give me in all my dreams. I can only hope to somehow repay her in my support of all her dreams and goals.

If your spouse expresses a wish to do something different or pursue a big dream, give your unwavering support to them. I think your love will only grow stronger. It sure worked for us.